Our sweet Beandog passed away 5 days ago. She was 14 years old - lived a long and happy life. That first day without her was hard for us. So difficult to keep my mind from wandering towards the saddest departing details, so I searched out fabric in her colors - traced, cut and started stitching. Keeping hands and brain busy and bringing back the good memories - which are so good and so many. She was the sweetest girl.
Loving and caring for her was our way of life for over 14 years. Her fur is woven into our carpets and our clothes. We patted her sweet head when we walked into the room and again when we walked out. We walked outside with her many times every day. We anticipate the sound of her toenails on the wood floors and her rustling shuffle in the fall leaves. There was much worrying in the last weeks - thoughts of her were hovering in front of all else - and near impossible to concentrate fully on anything. It has been hard to let go of that quiet urgency of wanting her to feel better and also knowing it was just time.
This was her season of camouflage, sitting in the dry grass and golden leaves and and looking lovely - this taken just 2 weeks ago.
It is becoming a little bit easier to just be sad - smile through the tears and not fall apart. There really are so many wonderful memories of her - we are so fortunate to have known and loved her.
So I will be stitching on this little golden sunburst for awhile...